Non-Tenured Position Opening Up in Lakewood, Colorado!

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University of Colorado's embattled Professor Ward Churchill has finally slipped on a big bananna peel; his gig as Indian impersonator and tenured Plagiarist of Ethnic Studies is rapidly drawing to a close; but the word on the street is that Denver's fun "Casa Bonita" restaurant is currently accepting applications for a new "Chiquita the angry gorilla."

Wardo should really consider submitting his resume and an application. He wouldn't be able to impersonate an angry Indian, of course; but he could impersonate an angry gorilla and beat his chest. He would still get to wear a costume, perform before a (much larger) audience, and act outrageously. No word yet on tenure.